Tag Archives: zen

A Home That Sparks Joy- Marie Kondo

Leelee-Sobieski

Lesson #1: Tackle Categories, Not Rooms


I’d always tackled clutter by room—take on the office first, the bedroom next. Instead, Kondo’s first rule is to tidy by category—deal with every single one of your books at once, for example, otherwise they’ll continue to creep from room to room, and you’ll never rein in the clutter. She advises beginning with clothing, since it’s the least emotionally loaded of one’s things (books come next, old photographs are much later), so as soon as I found a free afternoon, that’s exactly what I did.

cate_closet_03

 

Getting nostalgic over old letters or distracted by sweet toddlers might be a temporary high, but it won’t get you anywhere fast.

Lesson #2: Respect Your Belongings


With my eyes now open, I realized my closets had hit rock bottom. Everything had succumbed to a mixed-up messiness. Kondo asks that you consider your clothing’s feelings: Are they happy being squashed in a corner shelf or crowded onto hangers? Are your hardworking socks really thrilled to be balled up? It had sounded out there when I read it, but suddenly my clothes looked totally miserable.

one_kings_lane_catescloset_baby and bags

Kondo warns that you shouldn’t show your family the discard bags, since they’ll want to stop you from getting rid of so much. Case in point: Henry tried to nab an old hat

 

Lesson #3: Nostalgia Is Not Your Friend


As I started emptying the closets, I opened boxes filled with letters and old photographs. Serious mistake. Kondo knows what she’s talking about when she insists you put blinders on and focus only on the category of stuff at hand. Read one old letter, and suddenly you’re down a rabbit hole of nostalgia.

To be honest, I was probably procrastinating. In theory, I was sold on the idea of living exclusively with clothing that gives me joy, but I still had hang-ups: What will I be left with? Will I have anything to wear to work? Will I have to sacrifice beloved things, all for the sake of decluttering?

Then my 18-month-old son, Henry, wandered in, and there’s nothing he loves more than recluttering. The afternoon was basically lost. If you do this, don’t waste time like I did (and maybe book a babysitter for this project).

one_kings_lane_catescloset_empty boxes

While she doesn’t go for the classic storage pieces, Kondo loves a good shoebox (or any pretty box you have tucked away) for its all-purpose organizing power.

Lesson #4: Purging Feels SO Good


From then on, I followed Kondo’s advice to a T. I gathered every piece of my clothing and put it in one giant pile. While I normally tidy my clothes only when I’m on a long phone call—distracted from the task at hand—today I wasn’t even supposed to listen to music. Channeling Kondo, who says a prayer upon entering a client’s home, I lit a candle, said a little prayer, and started digging through the mountain of clothes.

Once I got to work, it was so much easier and more fun than I’d thought. This question of joy gives you permission to let go of off-color shirts bought on sale, dresses past their prime, skirts that always clung uncomfortably. I realized I had many things that seemed great in theory but weren’t actually my style—they’d be better on someone else’s body or in someone else’s life (examples: an überpreppy skirt or a corporate-looking jacket).

Six hours later, I’d filled 12 bags with non-joy-giving clothes. Instead of panic, I felt relief—12 times lighter. It also felt like good karma: The best stuff went to a consignment shop, and the decent stuff went to a charity thrift store, off to see a new, hopefully better life.

 

Lesson #5: Fold, Don’t Hang


Once you’ve sorted out the things to discard—and only then—you can decide where the remaining things should go. Rather than folded in a cubby or hanging in a closet, Kondo thinks a lot of our clothing would be better off (or as she’d say, happier) folded in a dresser.

I hadn’t been using a dresser at all before, but now, having begun with four overflowing closets, I was down to enough clothing to fill one closet and one dresser. Pulling from the tops, pants, and scarves now destined for the dresser, I started folding using Kondo’s special technique.

one_kings_lane_catescloset_CATE FOLD COLLAGE

Here’s the basic KonMari vertical fold, which can be applied to everything from T-shirts to stockings. First, make a long rectangle, and then fold from the bottom up into a little package.

Lesson #6: THE Fold!


Kondo’s vertical folding technique makes everything easy to spot and hard to mess up (you aren’t jostling a whole pile every time you take something out or put something back). Folded this way, clothing looks like fabric origami, ready to line your drawers in neat rows.

To keep these little folded packages standing at attention in the dresser, Kondo suggests using shoeboxes as drawer dividers. A smaller box is perfect for square scarves, a deep one can go on a bottom drawer for sweaters.

The dresser install, using a few shoeboxes. I even folded some of my husband’s striped shirts (on the left), just to inspire him to try this in his own drawers.

one_kings_lane_catescloset_folded shirts drawer

Lesson #7: Fall in Love with Your Closet


This is why people become evangelical about the KonMari method. Once you’ve cleared away the clutter and put things away, your dresses and skirts—the fun stuff, let’s be honest—can see the light of day. There’s breathing room between pieces, so you no longer have to do that awkward arm wrestle with the racks. All of which means you get a hit of joy—even hope!—just opening your closet, whether you’re getting ready in the morning or planning a party ensemble.

one_kings_lane_catescloset_finished closet

Kondo advises hanging clothes so that the line along the bottom slopes upward—it adds an optimistic zing.

Lesson #8: Rediscover Your Style


For years, I’ve worn the same rotation of easy-to-grab, reliable pieces without dipping into all the color in my closets. And there’s a lot of it—maybe because I grew up near the ocean, I have a weakness for turquoise and pink and love a color mash-up and summertime prints. I’d almost forgotten about these colors in the daily race to get out the door.

 

https://www.onekingslane.com/live-love-home/marie-kondo-book-declutter/

Advertisements

BREATH

BREATHING DIAGRAM-ILLUSTRATION

Breathe.

If you feel overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.

If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.

If you are moving too fast, breathe. It will remind you to slow down, and enjoy life more.

Breathe, and enjoy each moment of this life. They’re too fleeting and few to waste.

BY LEO BABAUTA

Find Happiness By Giving Up These 15 Things

SM2

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

“Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”
Wayne Dyer 

What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.”
Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.”
Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.”
Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”
Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.”
Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Thich Nhat Hanh on Loosening the Knots of Anger

Kao_K'o-kung_001

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us how to relax the bonds of anger, attachment and delusion through mindfulness and kindness toward ourselves.

url

To be happy, to me, is to suffer less. If we were not capable of transforming the pain within ourselves, happiness would not be possible.

Many people look for happiness outside themselves, but true happiness must come from inside of us. Our culture tells us that happiness comes from having a lot of money, a lot of power and a high position in society. But if you observe carefully, you will see that many rich and famous people are not happy. Many of them commit suicide.

The Buddha and the monks and nuns of his time did not own anything except their three robes and one bowl. But they were very happy, because they had something extremely precious: freedom.

According to the Buddha’s teachings, the most basic condition for happiness is freedom. Here we do not mean political freedom, but freedom from the mental formations of anger, despair, jealousy and delusion. These mental formations are described by the Buddha as poisons. As long as these poisons are still in our heart, happiness can not be possible.

In order to be free from anger, we have to practice, whether we are Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu or Jewish. We cannot ask the Buddha, Jesus, God or Mohammed to take anger out of our hearts for us. There are concrete instructions on how to transform the craving, anger and confusion within us. If we follow these instructions and learn to take good care of our suffering, we can help others do the same.

images

The Knots of Anger

In our consciousness there are blocks of pain, anger and frustration called internal formations. They are also called knots because they tie us up and obstruct our freedom.

When someone insults us or does something unkind to us, an internal formation is created in our consciousness. If you don’t know how to undo the internal knot and transform it, the knot will stay there for a long time. And the next time someone says something or does something to you of the same nature, that internal formation will grow stronger. As knots or blocks of pain in us, our internal formations have the power to push us, to dictate our behavior.

After a while, it becomes very difficult for us to transform, to undo the knots, and we cannot ease the constriction of this crystallized formation. The Sanskrit word for internal formation is samyojana. It means “to crystallize.” Every one of us has internal formations that we need to take care of. With the practice of meditation we can undo these knots and experience transformation and healing.

Not all internal formations are unpleasant. There are also pleasant internal formations, but they can still make us suffer. When you taste, hear or see something pleasant, then that pleasure can become a strong internal knot. When the object of your pleasure disappears, you miss it and you begin searching for it. You spend a lot of time and energy trying to experience it again. If you smoke marijuana or drink alcohol and begin to like it, then it becomes an internal formation in your body and in your mind. You cannot get it off your mind. You will always look for more. The strength of the internal knot is pushing you and controlling you. So internal formations deprive us of our freedom.

Falling in love is a big internal formation. Once you are in love, you only think of the other person. You are not free anymore. You cannot do anything; you cannot study, you cannot work, you cannot enjoy the sunshine or the beauty of nature around you. You can only think of the object of your love. That is why we speak about it as a kind of accident: “falling in love.” You fall down. You are not stable anymore because you have gotten into an accident. So love can also be an internal knot.

Pleasant or unpleasant, both kinds of knots take away our liberty. That is why we should guard our body and our mind very carefully, to prevent these knots from taking root in us. Drugs, alcohol and tobacco can create internal formations in our body. And anger, craving, jealousy, despair can create internal formations in our mind.

Heiji_no_ran,yoshitomo&yoritomo

Training in Aggression

Anger is an internal formation, and since it makes us suffer, we try our best to get rid of it. Psychologists like the expression, “getting it out of your system.” And they speak about venting anger, like ventilating a room filled with smoke. Some psychologists say that when the energy of anger arises in you, you should ventilate it by hitting a pillow, kicking something, or by going into the forest to yell and shout.

As a kid you were not supposed to say certain swear words. Your parents may not have allowed you to say these words because they are harmful, they damage relationships. So you went into the woods or to an isolated place and shouted these words very clearly, very strongly, in order to relieve the feeling of oppression. This is also venting.

People who use venting techniques like hitting a pillow or shouting are actually rehearsing anger. When someone is angry and vents their anger by hitting a pillow, they are learning a dangerous habit. They are training in aggression. Instead, our approach is to generate the energy of mindfulness and embrace anger every time it manifests.

K'un-ts'an_001

Treating Anger with Tenderness

Mindfulness does not fight anger or despair. Mindfulness is there in order to recognize. To be mindful of something is to recognize that something is there in the present moment. Mindfulness is the capacity of being aware of what is going on in the present moment. “Breathing in, I know that anger has manifested in me; breathing out, I smile towards my anger.” This is not an act of suppression or of fighting. It is an act of recognizing. Once we recognize our anger, we embrace it with a lot of awareness, a lot of tenderness.

When it is cold in your room, you turn on the heater, and the heater begins to send out waves of hot air. The cold air doesn’t have to leave the room for the room to become warm. The cold air is embraced by the hot air and becomes warm—there’s no fighting at all between them.

We practice taking care of our anger in the same way. Mindfulness recognizes anger, is aware of its presence, accepts and allows it to be there. Mindfulness is like a big brother who does not suppress his younger brother’s suffering. He simply says, “Dear brother, I’m here for you.” You take your younger brother in your arms and you comfort him. This is exactly our practice.

Imagine a mother getting angry with her baby and hitting him when he cries. That mother does not know that she and her baby are one. We are mothers of our anger and we have to help our baby, our anger, not fight and destroy it. Our anger is us and our compassion is also us. To meditate does not mean to fight. In Buddhism, the practice of meditation should be the practice of embracing and transforming, not of fighting.

Using Anger, Using Suffering

To grow the tree of enlightenment, we must make good use of our afflictions, our suffering. It is like growing lotus flowers; we cannot grow a lotus on marble. We cannot grow a lotus without mud.

Practitioners of meditation do not discriminate against or reject their internal formations. We do not transform ourselves into a battle field, good fighting evil. We treat our afflictions, our anger, our jealousy with a lot of tenderness. When anger comes up in us, we should begin to practice mindful breathing right away: “Breathing in, I know that anger is in me. Breathing out, I am taking good care of my anger.” We behave exactly like a mother: “Breathing in, I know that my child is crying. Breathing out, I will take good care of my child.” This is the practice of compassion.

If you don’t know how to treat yourself with compassion, how can you treat another person with compassion? When anger arises, continue to practice mindful breathing and mindful walking to generate the energy of mindfulness. Continue to embrace tenderly the energy of anger within you. Anger may continue to be there for sometime, but you are safe, because the Buddha is in you, helping you to take good care of your anger. The energy of mindfulness is the energy of the Buddha. When you practice mindful breathing and embrace your anger, you are under the protection of the Buddha. There is no doubt about it: the Buddha is embracing you and your anger with a lot of compassion.

Giving and Receiving Mindfulness Energy

When you are angry, when you feel despair, you practice mindful breathing, mindful walking, to generate the energy of mindfulness. This energy allows you to recognize and embrace your painful feelings. And if your mindfulness is not strong enough, you ask a brother or a sister in the practice to sit close to you, to breathe with you, to walk with you in order to support you with his or her mindfulness energy.

Practicing mindfulness does not mean that you have to do everything on your own. You can practice with the support of your friends. They can generate enough mindfulness energy to help you take care of your strong emotions.

We can also support others with our mindfulness when they are in difficulty. When our child is drowning in a strong emotion, we can hold his or her hand and say, “My dear one, breathe. Breathe in and out with mommy, with daddy.” We can also invite our child to do walking meditation with us, gently taking her hand and helping her calm down, with each step. When you give your child some of your mindfulness energy, she will be able to calm down very quickly and embrace her emotions.

Recognizing, Embracing, Relieving the Suffering of Anger

The first function of mindfulness is to recognize, not to fight. “Breathing in, I know that anger has manifested in me. Hello, my little anger.” And breathing out, “I will take good care of you.”

Once we have recognized our anger, we embrace it. This is the second function of mindfulness and it is a very pleasant practice. Instead of fighting, we are taking good care of our emotion. If you know how to embrace your anger, something will change.

It is like cooking potatoes. You cover the pot and then the water will begin to boil. You must keep the stove on for at least twenty minutes for the potatoes to cook. Your anger is a kind of potato and you cannot eat a raw potato.

Mindfulness is like the fire cooking the potatoes of anger. The first few minutes of recognizing and embracing your anger with tenderness can bring results. You get some relief. Anger is still there, but you do not suffer so much anymore, because you know how to take care of your baby. So the third function of mindfulness is soothing, relieving. Anger is there, but it is being taken care of. The situation is no longer in chaos, with the crying baby left all alone. The mother is there to take care of the baby and the situation is under control.

Keeping Mindfulness Alive

And who is this mother? The mother is the living Buddha. The capacity of being mindful, the capacity of being understanding, loving and caring is the Buddha in us. Every time we are capable of generating mindfulness, it makes the Buddha in us a reality. With the Buddha in you, you have nothing to worry about anymore. Everything will be fine if you know how to keep the Buddha within you alive.

It is important to recognize that we always have the Buddha in us. Even if we are angry, unkind or in despair, the Buddha is always within us. This means we always have the potential to be mindful, to be understanding, to be loving.

We need to practice mindful breathing or walking in order to touch the Buddha within us. When you touch the seed of mindfulness that lies in your consciousness, the Buddha will manifest in your mind consciousness and embrace your anger. You don’t have to worry; just continue to practice breathing or walking to keep the Buddha alive. Then everything will be fine. The Buddha recognizes. The Buddha embraces. The Buddha relieves, and the Buddha looks deeply into the nature of anger. The Buddha understands. And this understanding will bring about transformation.

The energy of mindfulness contains the energy of concentration, as well as the energy of insight. Concentration helps you to focus on just one thing. With concentration, the energy of looking becomes more powerful.

Because of that it can make a breakthrough that is insight. Insight always has the power of liberating you. If mindfulness is there, and you know how to keep mindfulness alive, concentration will be there too. And if you know how to keep concentration alive, insight will also come. So mindfulness recognizes, embraces and relieves. Mindfulness helps us look deeply in order to gain insight. Insight is the liberating factor. It is what frees us and allows transformation to happen. This is the Buddhist practice of taking care of anger.

Every time you give your internal formations a bath of mindfulness, the blocks of pain in you become lighter and less dangerous. So give your anger, your despair, your sorrow a bath of mindfulness every day—that is your practice. If mindfulness is not there, it is very unpleasant to have these seeds come up. But if you know how to generate the energy of mindfulness, it is very healing to invite them up every day and embrace them. And after several days or weeks of bringing them up daily and helping them go back down again, you create good circulation in your psyche, and the symptoms of mental illness will begin to disappear.

Mindfulness does the work of massaging your internal formations, your blocks of suffering. You have to allow them to circulate, and this is possible only if you are not afraid of them. If you learn not to fear your knots of suffering, you can learn how to embrace them with the energy of mindfulness, and transform them.

Reprinted from “Anger,” by Thich Nhat Hanh, with permission of Riverhead Books, a member of Penguin Putnam Inc. Copyright © 2001 by Thich Nhat Hanh.

http://www.lionsroar.com/loosening-the-knots-of-anger/

8 Life Changing Lessons Everyone Can Learn From Lao Tzu

laotzu36

Lao Tzu is one of the most famous Chinese philosophers and is the mind behind many important lessons our souls have to learn. He’s the author of the Tao Te Ching and the founder of Taosim. He’s been a central figure in China for centuries, and you’re about to find out why.

1. You already hold the answer to life’s questions.

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

2. You’re freed when you let go.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”

“Therefore the Master acts without doing anything and teaches without saying anything. Things arise and she lets them come; things disappear and she lets them go. She has but doesn’t possess, acts but doesn’t expect. When her work is done, she forgets it. That is why it lasts forever.”

“If you want to become whole, let yourself be partial. If you want to become straight, let yourself be crooked. If you want to become full, let yourself be empty. If you want to be reborn, let yourself die. If you want to be given everything, give everything up.”

“Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?”

3. Your ego will never give you true pleasure.

“He who defines himself can’t know who he really is.”

“He who has power over others can’t empower himself.”

“He who tries to shine dims his own light.”

4. Evil dies when ignored.

“Give evil nothing to oppose and it will disappear by itself.”

5. Kindness always wins. Evil always loses.

“Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained.”

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

6. Be yourself.

“Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.”

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”

7. Be humble and you shall be wise.

“The wise man is one who, knows, what he does not know.”

“All streams flow to the sea because it is lower than they are. Humility gives it its power.”

8. Change is inevitable, so embrace it.

“If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.”

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”

http://higherperspectives.com/lao-tzu/

DAEHYUN KIM BEAUTIFUL ZEN ART

0058_Beam_2012_web01

Beam

DAEHYUN KIM

I was born in Seoul in 1980, now live and work in Seoul. I studied oriental painting which is a study on the traditional East Asian painting. I’ve been drawing Moonassi series since university. The series is my life-time project. There is no specific background story or a theory about the drawing. Each drawing is created based on my daily thoughts and feelings. I draw to meditate on myself and others, and to be able to see the whole story of the series in the end.

 CRAZY STOP MOTION!!!!!


0069_The-Value-of-Suffering_2013_web01

The Value of Suffering

0025_I-want-to-be-like-I-wasnt-there_2009_web01

I want to be like I wasn’t there

0029_Please_take_care_of_this_web01

Please take care of this

0039_Sinking-of-you_2010_web01

Sinking of you

0050_Face_the_whole_or_Martini_web01

Face the whole

0045_Bright-darkness_2010_web01

Bright darkness

0064_the_moon_i_see_web01

The moon I see

0042_Draw-a-curtain_2010_web01

Draw a curtain 0082-Inear_web01

Inear

0099_More-or-less_web02

More or less

0028_On-you_2009_web01

On you

What Self-Loving People Do Differently

I 38592d9d3ce750158423778cbd5069d5

I used to look at people who were successful, healthy and happy, wondering, “What’s their secret? Why can’t I do that?”

After a decadelong struggle with eating disorders, addiction, and self-loathing, I realized that the reason I couldn’t be happy like the people I envied was that I didn’t love myself and they did.

For me, shifting from self-loathing to self-love has been profoundly healing and epiphany-inducing. I can hardly believe how simple it’s been for me to quit smoking, eat well, exercise daily, find a loving relationship, and have the career of my dreams. And it’s all thanks to self-love.

Now, I see happy people and I smile, knowing that their lives are products of a series of habits that support their relationships with themselves.

Here are seven things that self-loving people do differently.

1. They listen to their emotions.

Most people spend their lives doing one of two things to their emotions: numbing or venting. Often, they do a combination of the two (i.e. they numb until they can’t hold it in anymore, then they explode).

Self-loving people do something very different — they accept each emotion as a piece of communication and they try to decode it. This way, emotions can become important guideposts on the journey of self-discovery, rather than annoying roadblocks.

2. They choose responsibility over blame.

When something negative happens, self-loving people will look for a way to take responsibility, rather than searching for someone to blame. They know that placing blame doesn’t solve the problem — it only cultivates anxiety and helplessness. By choosing to take responsibility, self-loving people do themselves the favor of encouraging change and acceptance rather than stewing in stagnation and suffering.

3. They feed their passions and talents.

Every person in this world feels the gentle tug of fascination toward some hobby or activity. Sometimes that tug isn’t so gentle! Self-loving people learn to recognize that inner longing as something important, and they devote their time and energy to nourishing those desires. Self-loving people do something every single day that they love doing, and they allow themselves the space to explore new interests that arise. They know that nourishing their own inner hunger is much more important than any fears they might have about what feeding it looks like.

4. They spend time alone.

Those who have unhealthy, abusive relationships with themselves often have an intolerance of being alone. The moment they have some space with themselves, they feel the incoming discomfort of self-defeating thoughts and toxic emotions, so they reach for the phone or the vice. Self-loving people do the opposite. They look forward to their time by themselves, just as you’d look forward to a date with a beloved friend. They not only make time for themselves, they start to miss their time alone if they don’t take it.

5. They sleep on it.

As we learn to respect ourselves, we become more long-term oriented. Instead of caving to momentary impulses and immediate gratification, self-loving people will sleep on it and weigh the outcomes of important decisions. Paradoxically enough, being able to delay gratification and think about long-term outcomes gives us the ability to enjoy our lives more in every single moment, because that “long-term” that we’re always thinking about becomes our entire way of life.

6. They teach people how to treat them and walk away if they cannot.

Those who deny themselves love, respect, and approval will inevitably seek those necessities from other people. When we base our relationships with others on approval-seeking and love-hunger, we’re not really respecting ourselves or other people. We’re just running each other dry.

That’s why self-loving people approach relationships from a place of self-sufficiency. They know what they need to feel respected and they know what they have to offer. They gently teach the people around them about their boundaries and, if those are crossed repeatedly, they have the courage to walk away.

7. They admit their mistakes.

Those who don’t have self-respect are always measuring themselves against some outside standard. In many cases, that standard is being “right.” They feel good when they’re right and crestfallen when they’re wrong, because their whole sense of identity is wrapped up in these labels. Self-loving people tend to identify with more permanent parts of their experience, rather than temporary states like right/wrong, old/young, happy/sad. They feel a deep, unconditional acceptance of themselves, which gives them the power to practice self-improvement without losing self-love. Thus, they not only admit when they’re wrong, they expect to be.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-16425/what-self-loving-people-do-differently.html

7 Inner Habits of Remarkably Happy People!

tumblr_m62sluL1az1rt28efo1_500

Your life is precious.

You yearn to make the most of it.

Yet on some days, you wake up dreading the day ahead.

You find yourself asking, ‘What’s wrong?  Why do I feel so flat?’

You’re not alone, most of us experience times like these.

What sets happy people apart, is their way of being in the world – even in difficult times.

Remarkably happy people bounce back from whatever life throws their way.

For them, happiness is a habit.

The good news is we can all learn how to make happiness a habit.

Here are seven ways remarkably happy people approach life (and you can too).

1. Tackle tough situations directly

Fall seven times, stand up eight. – Japanese proverb

Perhaps problems with your boss, a financial crisis or health issue are bringing you down. Maybe you feel stuck in the drama, or try to bottle up your feelings?

Happy people take a different approach

Rather than spend time telling themselves, ‘All is well’ –  while sweeping their problems under the rug,  they allow themselves to experience sadness, disappointment and anger at what’s happened.

Their energy continues to flow; their hearts and minds remain open.

Simply being with what is, keeps you honest and open about what’s going on –  as well as receptive to suggestions for handling the situation.

If you remain present and open, you can quickly let go of the part that’s not within your control.  And you can access creative problem-solving abilities to address the part that is within your control.

2. Master the art of having fun

Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game. – Michael Jordan

Recently, I saw a commercial where a father is watching his young son play baseball.  The son misses every catch.  The game ends.  A look of concern comes over the father’s face.  He approaches his son and asks him how he’s doing.  A huge smile spreads across the boy’s face.  He responds “I was awesome!”

When was the last time you felt like that?

Like children, the most happy amongst us master the art of having fun.

How can you master this art?

Do what brings you joy and connect with that joy, instead of judging yourself on your performance.

Put time and money aside to fund your fun. Do you need a new guitar, or some biking equipment?

Turn a jar into a “fun things account” and put your loose change in it each week.

3. Let go of goals if you outgrow them

 We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us. – Joseph Campbell

Back in your teens, what dreams did you have?

Perhaps you imagined a certain career, finding the love of your life, traveling the world, or making a lot of money?

The more you imagined it, the more you became attached to the outcome.  You set goals, invested time and energy into your dreams of the future.

But our journey through life often doesn’t turn out as we imagine.  And what we thought would make us happy, sometimes doesn’t.

The most happy among us leave themselves open to possibilities.  Instead of seeing life as something to control by rigidly sticking to plans, they see it as an adventure to be experienced.  They have goals, yet allow their life to unfold, tweaking plans or creating new ones when a better option appears.

Let’s take a look at how this could play out in your life.

If a goal no longer matters to you, don’t worry about what might happen if you change course.  You aren’t limited by other people’s opinions about what’srealistic.  Embrace your hunches and look for new options that appeal to you.

Step through your fear into a new future.

4. Protect your priorities

Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so that you can say ‘yes’ to the best. – John C. Maxwell

Ever said yes to something and then found yourself feeling resentful, or burned out from doing it?  In today’s busy world many demands are made on our time and most of us struggle with saying no.

When we try to be all things to all people and taking on too much is one of the ways we limit our happiness.

In contrast, happy people know each moment offers them a chance to spend their time, attention and love on what matters most.  They honor their gifts and value their priorities.  When no is the best answer, they not only say it gracefully, they feel okay doing so.

How can you phrase a graceful ‘no’ to protect your priorities ?

Next time you need to protect your own precious time, you could say something like, ‘I’m really honored you asked me, but I just don’t have the time to take you up on your offer.  Thanks so much for thinking of me, though.’

To be able to say yes to what brings them happiness and fulfilment, you also need to say no to protect your priorities.

5. Dedicate your life to something bigger than yourself

The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times. The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Happy people dedicate their lives to something bigger than themselves, something challenging and meaningful.  They spend years honing their skills, stretching just beyond their comfort zones.

When you become deeply involved in this way, you forget yourselfand experience a heightened awareness of each moment.  Much like what occurs during meditation, you can reach a state of harmony, flow and ease.

These activities give your live meaning and make you happy in a deeper, long-lasting way.

6. Speak out for positive change

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. – Margaret Mead

It’s natural to want to fit in.  We are all influenced by others.

And it can be a good thing.

If you’re trying to lose weight, being around someone committed to the same goal can truly help.  Want to improve your skills at work?  Finding a mentor makes the process a lot easier.

Fitting in this way increases our happiness.

But then, there are those other times.  Someone at work tells an off-color joke, or your new boyfriend’s brother hides a put-down in an amusing story about another person.

Suddenly, fitting in feels awkward.

And while saying nothing and letting the moment pass may feel like the safest route to take, it won’t increase your happiness.  In fact, it will lower it.

Happy folks tend to speak out if they feel uncomfortable about a situation. If you want to be happier,  stay true to who you are and honor your values and beliefs, even if it means not fitting in.

7. Make mistakes

Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.”–Adventure Time (the cartoon)

Think about the engaging, magnetic people you’ve met in your life.  Maybe they had a talent you really admired, an air of confidence about them, or they did things you could only dream of.

Odds are, they made some huge, slap-your-forehead mistakes along the way.  Yet they weren’t afraid to admit their blunders; they may have even turned them into funny stories.

The most joyous amongst us know that lasting happiness isn’t about playing it safe.  They’re curious and adventurous by nature.

Here’s how you can do it…

Be willing to take risks, explore and grow, even if it means forgoing comfort or momentary happiness.

Even if it means failing.

Because the most awesome things in life reside just outside what’s comfortable and familiar.

Are You Ready to Create Some Happy Habits of Your Own?

What you do today can improve all your tomorrows. – Ralph Marston

The world has too many people who are just going through the motions.  People who do what society tells them to.

What the world needs are more remarkably happy people.  People who light up their corner of the world and lift up others.

Because happiness is an energy that enhances the lives of those around us.

If you want to live a remarkably happy life, one that leaves the world a better place for you having been in it, you can’t just read about remarkably happy people.

Being happy isn’t a philosophy to be analyzed or debated, it’s a way of life.

You have to live it.

That means accepting what’s outside of your control, instead of breaking yourself against it.

It means budgeting your time and money for things that make your life more meaningful.  And saying no to things that don’t –  even when it’s uncomfortable.

It means stepping out of your comfort zone.  Scheduling time to dedicate your talents and strengths to something bigger than yourself.

You have to realize you’re in charge of your happiness.  And, by taking steps to become happier, you will brighten up so much more than just your own life.

These seven habits of remarkably happy people are your steps toward a happier life.

So, take that first step.

The world is waiting.