Tag Archives: self-love

LOVE IN ALL IT`S SPLENDOR

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How do you see  love and being loved?

I have always been a person that was hungry for love, to give love and to be loved. Since I can remember the idea that I had of love was like a Hollywood movie, full of drama, romance and high emotions at all times.

With my experiences in my relationships, I think I attracted willingly my idea of love but was it ever so draining and tiring.  Living at a constant state of powerful emotions, I love you, I hate you, fighting and making up. The middle was never an option for me, I didn`t even realize that I did have this option available because my perception was not real, romantic novels and movies are not real life. As a true romantic I needed to change my perception and my definition of love.

 

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First came the notion of self-love

With experience comes knowledge and wisdom for all of us and we can choose to repeat old patterns and expect different results but we can also chose to change our patterns and truly receive different results in every area of or life. We can choose to be a victim or the take responsibility for what we have co-created.

My idea of love changed completely and the more I started to honor myself, to love myself, to understand my being, my essence. To nourish my values, my commitments and my dreams. The less I needed to find someone to complete me because I felt complete on my own. The less I searched for love outside of myself. It was all and always was present from within, self-love simply needed to be nourished by encouraging it in my daily practice. I made a clear decision to divorce emotionally and mentally my past relationships and to start practicing new ways of love. This extended in my life, in all of my relationships, family, friends and even work. It has even extended in how I treat my home my things, the productivity of my work and with love we plant seeds, with nourishment we allow things to grow, with care we obtain results.

 

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How I define love now

Love is acceptance, love is patience, love is respect, love is choosing your battles, love is space, love is peace, love is being responsible for you own happiness, love is sweet, forgiving and humble because none of us are perfect and we are all here to learn from our journey on this earth. Love is understanding.

Don`t love like a beggar, love like a king or a queen. What I mean by this is love with elegance, kindness, courage, intelligence, composure and deliberation so the person you are with knows where they stand. No one can guess what you are feeling or thinking so be open and communicate with ease and peace.

Love is taking responsibility for your own insecurities and working on theme so they do not consume your relationships. Love is not blame, it is not using someone’s vulnerabilities as ammo. Words are powerful and they cannot be taken back.

Never settle! You are deserving just like any living creature on this planet.

I send all of you love and hope you enjoyed this article. Please feel free to send me your opinion’s on this subject.

Mélika Emira Baccouch

How to Look More Beautiful as You Age

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No matter what your age, you can keep your skin looking like a teenager’s by paying attention to the four pillars of youthful skin:

  • Nourish your skin all year round, both from the inside and from the outside.
  • Rehydrate your skin internally and externally — maintaining moisture balance is crucial for skin health and appearance.
  • Detoxify from both the inside and outside to prevent the build-up of toxins and help keep skin clear and radiant.
  • Practice stress management — stress is the number one enemy of youthful skin.

Paying attention to these four pillars increases prabha, the natural luster and glow of the skin, and it is important to address all four aspects from the inside and the outside.

Nourish Your Skin

To nourish your skin from the inside, The Council recommends following the ayurvedic dietary guidelines for the season and your skin/body type. In addition, try adjusting your diet to become more skin-friendly:

  • Eat plenty of sweet, juicy fruits, including a stewed apple or pear for breakfast, to enhance skin suppleness.
  • Include multiple whole grains in your diet (quinoa, couscous, millet, barley, amaranth, rye and wheat) to provide a variety of minerals and the full range of nature’s intelligence to your skin.
  • Eat a variety of vegetables, cooked with skin-friendly spices such as turmeric, cumin and small amounts of black pepper (see recipe below). Green leafy vegetables provide fiber and nutrients such as iron and calcium, which help to nourish the blood and skin tissue.
  • Eat light, easily-digestible proteins such as milk, lassi (yogurt blended with water and a dash of cumin and fresh mint), and panir (freshly-made cheese), as well as nourishing proteins such as mung dahl, which is helpful for all skin types.
  • Take Youthful Skin Tablets and Premium Amla Berry tablets daily to support your skin with herbs, which represent the concentrated intelligence of nature.

Skin-Friendly Spice Mixture

  • 3 parts turmeric
  • 6 parts coriander
  • 6 parts fennel
  • 1 part fenugreek
  • 1 part black pepper

Sauté the spices in ghee (clarified butter), add steamed vegetables and stir. Cook for a few minutes to allow the spices to be absorbed.

Turmeric is the greatest friend of your skin because it is deeply purifying and is also a potent antioxidant. Cumin and fenugreek purify the blood and fat tissue, and black pepper and turmeric do the same, plus cleanse rasa (nutrient fluid) and sweat (the waste product of fat tissue). All of these factors have a direct link to the health and appearance of the skin.

Rehydrate Your Skin

For internal rehydration, drink more pure water; eat sweet, juicy fruits; and include moderate amounts of high-quality fats such as ghee or olive oil in your diet. A completely fat-free diet is unhealthy for the skin, and diminishes both luster and aura. But always cook fats with skin-friendly spices to improve digestion and absorption.

Vata skin-types require more fat content in the diet because their skin tends to be naturally dry, and Kapha skin types require less because their skin naturally has relatively higher oil content.

For external rehydration, massage daily before your bath or shower with the Youthful Skin Massage Oil: this oil includes herbs such as Sacred Lotus, Sandalwood, and Ashwagandha. The Youthful Skin Massage Oil is formulated for enhanced absorption, has an anti-aging effect, and increases glow and luster. It is the most effective oil for youthfulness, and incorporates new processing techniques that result in faster absorption and more satisfying aroma.

Facial skin can benefit from the deep-layer lipid support offered by the Youthful Skin Oil. Here’s a tip for fast, even, light application: barely moisten your hands, then pour 3-4 drops of the oil onto one palm. Rub your palms together to spread the oil, then pat your palms on your face to apply the oil. Gently massage it in with your fingertips, using even, upward strokes.

Royal Milk Anti-Aging Skin Bath

This time-tested beauty aid was recommended by traditional royal physicians for the queens of India to enhance glow and luster of the skin:

  1. Mix a large quantity of 70 percent rolled oats, 10 percent Indian Sarsaparilla, 10 percent Marshmallow Root and 10 percent Rose Petals.
  2. Place two tablespoons of this mixture in the middle of a small square of cheesecloth, gather up the ends of the cloth, and tie with a string.
  3. Dip the cloth into warm milk and pat the entire body with the herbal sachet to deeply moisturize your skin.
  4. Make enough mixture for one or two months and store in an airtight container.
Detoxify

The number one detoxification target should be the colon. If you have a problem with Apana Vata and are constipated, for instance, your skin will only become dryer and duller. Take daily walks, eat more fibrous foods, and drink plenty of water. If you still have irregular bowel movements, take Herbal Cleanse.

To seasonally detoxify from within, take Elim-Tox-O along with Organic Genitrac for 45 days whenever the seasons are in the process of changing: in the transition weeks between summer and fall, fall and winter, winter and spring, and spring and summer.

http://www.mapi.com/ayurvedic-knowledge/ayurvedic-beauty/ayurvedic-aging-secrets.html#gsc.tab=0

FOUNDATION AND FEMININITY: HEALING THE FIRST AND SECOND CHAKRAS

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Imagine for a moment that you feel completely healed. What does that feel like to you? Maybe you feel well, your reproductive system or other body parts functioning healthily. You may feel spiritually whole, filled with understanding and purpose. Or perhaps for you, feeling healed equates to emotional balance and ease.

As you focus your awareness on your personal healing, know in your heart that it is possible. During growth or crisis phases in life, healing takes courage and dedication as you sift through your feelings and sit with them. Oftentimes it requires outside assistance, a trusted companion to help you dig deep into the parts of you that need some attention.  Above all, it calls for gentleness with self and spirit.

Turning to the chakra system to help you find your way through your experiences can be a great first step. Let’s look at how the first and second chakras, known as the lower chakras, can bring healing awareness.

The Root Chakra

The first chakra, known as the Root Chakra or Muladhara in Sanskrit, spins from the base of the spine. It relates to procreation and Mother Earth as well as to birth, receiving unconditional love from your parents and the beginning of your life. Oftentimes it is described as the place where physical energy, instinct and vitality are born.  From the Root Chakra, your kundalini, or pure desire, rises.

Meditation on the first chakra can help you feel safe, secure, grounded and stable as you navigate the fertility journey. When you are rooted, you feel fully alive, joyful, curious and able to trust. This chakra teaches that all is one.

Working with this chakra allows you access to greater self-nourishment should you have healing to do from early childhood. When you spend time nurturing and supporting your inner child, your first chakra blooms.  Healing on this level also plants the seeds for the future. What you do now to heal yourself opens the way for your children to have fulfilling early experiences when they come into the world.

Being disconnected from Root Chakra energy can manifest as high levels of fear or stress, addictions, depression, obsessive disorders or an extreme need for control. Physically, this chakra relates to the spine, kidneys, adrenal glands, immune system, skeletal system and reproductive organs. Cold hands and feet, frequent urination, high-blood pressure, low back pain, difficulties in the feet, legs or hips, low sex drive, and infertility or impotence are common ailments associated with an unbalanced first chakra.

The Sacral Chakra

As the energy of the first chakra opens, it moves up to the lower abdomen two fingers below the navel to closely relate to Swadhisthana or the Sacral Chakra. The center for emotion, desire and passion, the second chakra brings creativity, empowerment, sincerity and sexual energy into your life. Its symbol is a crescent moon, representing femininity and the womb.

As you open awareness to Sacral Chakra energy, you begin to explore your true feminine nature. You embrace your compassionate and nurturing qualities; you trust your intuition. Creativity blossoms and your emotions feel in balance. Relationships, both casual and intimate, are satisfying. You experience and enjoy sensual sexual experiences. Your female reproductive organs function healthfully.

As a child, if you were unable to express your feelings, emotions or desires, your second chakra may need attention. Some characteristics of an unbalanced second chakra include fear of pleasure, being out of touch with your feelings, resistance to change, acting overly emotional or dramatic, sexual addiction or poor boundaries.

In her book Anatomy of the Spirit, The Seven Stages of Power and Healing (Three Rivers Press, 1996) author and medical intuitive Carolyn Myss, Ph.D., explains that many female health problems stem from second chakra issues. “Problems with menstruation, cramps and PMS are classic indications that she is in some kind of conflict with being a woman…,” writes Myss.  Problems with bleeding or irregular periods frequently occur due to emotional stress and the feeling that a woman doesn’t have control over her choices, she says.

Further, Myss’ writes that tubal problems and infertility are centered on a woman’s inner child. The flow of eggs, she writes, can be blocked because the woman’s inner being does not feel nurtured or mature enough to feel fertile.

The Journey

Opening awareness to the parts of you that may need healing attention can be difficult. Take small steps. Remember to treat yourself with gentle care and nurturing commitment. Honor yourself for where you are right now on your journey, and be well in knowing you are whole.

As you ground yourself and connect with your feminine energy, I encourage you to contact me for more information or to make an appointment for the Enhance the Blood massage session. This healing massage treatment focuses on opening circulatory pathways to bathe the reproductive organs in blood and bring regeneration and nourishment to your whole body.

I look forward to assisting you as you connect with the sacredness of your body. You may contact me at Cathleen@pullingdownthemoon.com.

http://www.pullingdownthemoon.com/blog/2011/march/foundation-and-femininity-healing-the-first-and-.aspx

A SPIRITUAL REFLECTION ON BOUNDARIES

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“I just think that boundaries are the most amazing, wonderful and difficult things to implement. They are beautiful tools that we need to use in our life to create intimacy, not to block it. A boundary doesn’t keep people out of our lives. A boundary just keeps people from violating important spaces in our lives; and when we have boundaries, the intimacy is increased, not decreased.” — Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School

There are many people in the spiritual world who romanticize the idea of dissolving or shedding personal boundaries . . . of being One with all beings, or most titillating, with an intimate partner. This is a wonderful ideal, but unfortunately, since many of us have an unclear understanding of boundaries in the first place, we end up mistaking unhealthy connectedness with others (fusion) for true communion with them.

Oneness and individuality

Confusion about the spiritual notion of Oneness most often manifests in our relationships with other humans. Most of you reading this are people who highly value peace and calm in your lives, and uphold the virtue of compassion. Some of you might believe that if we are all One, we should understand the pain of others and not judge them, even when they cross our boundaries. You may believe that being kind to others means flowing like water around them. You may believe that we ALONE must take responsibility for all of the difficulty in our lives and deal with it by ourselves, because it’s ultimately saying something about us, not others.

NO. NO. NO. (And yes, sometimes.)

This is the paradox of spirituality. While the above statements indeed have deep truth to them, they often times cannot, and should not, be applied without discrimination to our lives as humans on Earth.This is where the Buddhist notion of TWO TRUTHS or Two Realities (ultimate reality and relative reality) can be useful. Both realities co-exist, and it is part of the human journey to learn how to skillfully dance between them. Yes, from the perspective of Source we are One (or as Buddhists might put it, we all share the ultimate nature of Emptiness), but we are also unique individuals who have our own needs, preferences, and desires. We have our own complex emotional world, which it is our personal responsibility to take care of, so that we can be happy and healthy.

“Boundaries allow differences to play their essential role by preserving our autonomy and making healthy interrelatedness possible — a fact clearly illustrated in mature relationships, in which there is deep communion without any dilution of one’s sense of self. In such relationships, we don’t discard our boundaries to make meaningful connections; we expand our boundaries to include the other without short-changing ourselves.” — Robert Augustus Masters, author of Spiritual Bypassing

What are boundaries for?

When other people come into our personal space and violate it, physically or emotionally, it is appropriate to set a boundary in order to take care of ourselves. (Remember, people don’t know where our boundaries are unless we clearly make them known.)

Boundaries are not about controlling others, or blaming them for how we feel. They are about taking full responsibility of our own safety, well-being, and happiness.

A boundary is a request you make along with a clear consequence regarding what you will do if the request is not respected.

For example, “If you don’t stop with the name-calling, I will leave the room.” Or “If you keep coming home drunk, I will move out and not consider returning until you are in a rehab program.” Or, “If you keep bringing up my ex, I will stop engaging in our conversation.”

Some of us tend to go a little wild when we first start to take boundaries seriously. But remember, a boundary should only be made when there has been a violation of your physical or emotional space (like your boss raising his voice at you or someone smoking in your home). It’s not a tool to be used when you simply don’t like someone’s words or behavior but they are not actually doing anything to or toward you. It’s not a tool for controlling other people. For example, it’s not a boundary if you try to use it to get your husband to take out the garbage or get your girlfriend to call you more often. That’s called manipulation!

Following through on boundaries

One of the most important but difficult things about setting boundaries is actually following through on the consequences you have stated. Sometimes we try to use aboundary as a threat, with no intention of actually following through. We’re afraid of others getting angry or feeling hurt, or we just find it very difficult to assert ourselves. So instead, we set a boundary with the sole desire of forcing the other person to change. Again, this is manipulation. If you want your boundary to be taken seriously (and if you want to take yourself seriously a.k.a. trust yourself), you have to do what you say you will do.

“When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility. Whatever it is, they will feel a loss. If you love them, this will be difficult for you to watch. But, when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them. If you have been enabling them to be irresponsible, your limit setting may nudge them toward responsibility.” — Henry Cloud, author of Boundaries

Boundaries ultimately come from a place of compassion and respect for yourself. You may be frustrated and angry with others, but the reason why you’re experiencing this is often because you don’t have proper boundaries and you haven’t been SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH. Once you take full responsibility for your happiness, you can set boundaries with others from a place of calm, empowerment, and love – not anger or resentment toward them.

It can be helpful to explain to the person you’re setting the boundary with that this isn’t about them or about them doing something wrong, it’s about you, your truth, and your needs. If they choose to be offended by your truth, that’s their choice. When setting boundaries, you have to be willing to accept the response of the other party. You’re not demanding that they change; they are free individuals. It’s just that if they don’t change, you’ll follow through on the consequence you described.

Mastery takes practice

Boundary work takes a ton of practice, so no worries if you don’t get it right on the first few (hundred) tries.

I think part of the reason boundaries are such a difficult thing to apply to our life is because it highlights the spiritual paradox I mentioned earlier: We’re all born of same Source (and thus have this beautiful “urge to merge”), and yet we’re also unique, distinct streams of consciousness having our own experience of life on earth.

It’s a challenge to fulfill both our spiritual desire to connect with each other AND our human drive to express and experience the fruits of our unique needs and preferences.

Learning to do this is a sign of true mastery.

Keep on keepin’ on, friends!

http://www.stephanieylin.com/spiritual-reflection-on-boundaries/

THIS GIRL IS CRAZY AMAZING! Look into the X ray of an emptath’s mind, body and soul!

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I feel your pain: an empath’s guide to staying balanced

Do you often wonder which emotions are yours, and which belong to someone else? When people you care about are hurting, do you feel their pain so deeply that it’s hard to separate—even after they’re out of crisis mode? In relationships, do you donate so much of your own natural resources that you suffer from a chronic energy shortage? And with those you’re close to, is it hard to figure out what your own needs are—or even what you want for dinner? If the answer is yes, it’s highly likely that you’re an empath.

What does it mean to be an empath, and why is it fraught with these basic life challenges? Derived from the Greek “em” (in) and “pathos” (feeling), the term empathic means you’re able to “feel into” others’ feelings. But for empaths, this sensitivity is magnified to the nth degree. An empath is more tuned in, more empathic, and more sensitive to others than the average empathic person.

Being this tuned in, empathic, and sensitive is an asset, but it comes at great cost. Empaths are unusually vulnerable to emotional contagion, to “catching” others’ emotions in much the same way that you’d catch a cold or flu. But it doesn’t stop there: empaths get physically ill and suffer from anxiety, depression, chronic stress, professional burnout, and pain syndromes more often than their less empathic counterparts. And empaths often need lots of down time after social engagements, “recovery periods” at the end of a workday, or extended intervals of being alone. They can feel fundamentally different from others: As a conference-goer recently put it, “It’s like I’m an alien from another planet—no one understands me, and sometimes I don’t even get myself.” The empaths I work with often confess a deep-seated fear that this “alien thing” means something is wrong with them, that they’re somehow damaged.

As a clinical psychologist and yoga therapist, I’ve supervised psychotherapists, yoga teachers, and yoga practitioners for more than two decades—and a great many of them are empaths. I’ve helped them identify who they are and develop the skills to lead more balanced and healthy lives. And as a “recovering empath” myself, I’ve had to walk a parallel path. From this personal and professional immersion, I’ve found that it helps just to name the issue, to hammer a framework of understanding around it. And then, armed with tools from yoga, mindfulness, and psychology, we can work on balance. We can create a blueprint for physical well-being, emotional health, and more rewarding relationships.

Are you an empath? Here are five signs that you might be—and that your wonderful qualities, when left unchecked, can compromise your health.

THE EMPATH CHECKLIST:

1. You struggle with boundaries. It’s tough to know where you leave off and others begin, which experiences are yours and which come from others, when to open your channels for connection or to close them.

2. You’re often not in your body. For empaths, all that “feeling into” the experiences of others means that you dissociate: you leave your body or “shuttle” out of direct experience as a matter of course.

3. You’re vulnerable to emotional contagion. You absorb the emotions of others, from your boss and colleagues at work to your family and friends, and even the check-out guy at Whole Foods.

4. You’re prone to nervous system overdrive. It doesn’t take much—sometimes just a draining conversation or a party that’s loud and over-populated—to propel your nervous system into alarm mode.

5. You have trouble with intimacy. Your relationships are filled with intense bonding and equally intense separations. You can merge with others at the drop of a hat, but get so entangled that an “emotional exorcism” of someone you care about is often the only way to get your space.

Even when we’re aware of them, these patterns are hard to change. They’re wired into us deeply, at levels the conscious mind can’t reach. For that reason, to be a healthy empath requires daily practice. Here are the key issues and therapeutic practices that form the heart of the journey. The challenge is that much of the healing needs to happenthrough the body. And for empaths, the body can be a wasteland of sorts, a long-abandoned battleground.

Lest you think this is a “chick thing,” there are male empaths, too. It’s just that the process of natural selection draws empathic males underground more quickly than it does their female counterparts because sensitivity, empathy, and attunement to others are considered “feminine” traits. Male empaths can be ostracized for these qualities, and learn to bury them from sight. As a male empath in one of our therapeutics clinics recently said, “I take on other people’s experiences all the time. I have a huge amount of anxiety and depression, and it’s hard to know what’s mine and what’s someone else’s. But when I talk about it to my friends, they tell me to quit being ‘such a girl.’” Male empaths need the same kind of body-based support that female ones require.

RX FOR EMPATHS:

Empaths have an extraordinary capacity for union. They’re great in a crisis; people in need call forth their deepest abilities. They make gifted, intuitive healers. They see others deeply, well beyond the surface. And they have a magnetic quality that draws people to them. Yet flanking these positive aspects are several shadow sides. Here’s what you’ll want to focus on to help you live in a state of physical and emotional equilibrium.

1. Develop Boundaries. As an empath, you give too much space to others’ emotional lives. You solve their problems with ease and help them restore equilibrium, often at the expense of your own energy stores. But even when no one needs you, the habit of “trolling for crisis” means you’re always on alert, and makes it tough to return to the shores of your own awareness.

Empath Rx: Creating boundaries isn’t a matter of mental discipline, of “just say no.” When you’re an empath, limits need to be integrated into your physicality. The core body is your seat of power: What helps is a yoga practice that brings your focus into your deep, intrinsic core where you can develop “prana in the belly.” This four-pronged core body program includes awareness, strength, flexibility, and the capacity to release. Working with the core in this holistic way helps you ground back into your body and replenish your energy stores. Mindfulness tools can also help you monitor where—or on whom—you’re focused and notice when you’ve migrated into someone else’s direct experience.

2. Bring Awareness into Your Body. Imagine that you’ve left to visit a friend in another city and forgotten to lock your house. And that’s not all: You’ve left all the doors and windows wide open, so anyone can get in. This is what it’s like to be an empath. You can abandon your own home, your direct experience, in favor of someone else’s. The more you do this, the more difficult it is to return. What makes matters worse is that not inhabiting your body (and the moment) keeps the benefits of yoga and other mindfulness-based practices just beyond your reach.

Empath Rx: Offset this tendency toward dissociation with slow, mindful vinyasa yoga sequences that link movement with breath. Empaths can spend a whole yoga class or practice on auto-pilot: adding anchors for awareness will help bring you back to your body and to the present. Contemplative practices such as meditation and restorative yoga give you the time, space, and silence you need to get re-embodied again.

3. Balance Your Nervous System.

An empath’s environment is like “emotional satellite radio” with surround sound and hundreds of channels. Your nervous system surfs the dial constantly, flipping from station to station to listen to others’ emotional broadcasts: your boss’s complaints about work, your partner’s anxiety over a potential job loss, your best friend’s sadness about a breakup. These information-processing demands can catapult your nervous system into overdrive, which reinforces anxiety, depression, and chronic stress. On top of that, the incessant electronic requests of e-mail and social media can overload and exhaust you.

Empath RX:

Learn to notice the signs of nervous system overdrive, such as that inner sense of something always “humming” beneath the surface, an elevated heart rate, and increased emotional reactivity. Practice simple breathwork techniques like nasal breath (and if accessible, nasal breath with a longer exhale) to slow your heart and bring your nervous system back to baseline. Regular breaks from social media also help, as do practices that balance your nervous system and quiet your mind, like Restorative Yoga.

4. Learn to Regulate Intimacy.

For empaths, intimacy comes down to matters of space and reciprocity. You can feel like Dr. Doolittle’s Push-Me-Pull-You: Sometimes you crave intense emotional, physical, and spiritual bonding. At other times, you need so much space that having your own personal galaxy might feel too crowded. When you want to merge, you can threaten people who have a higher need for breathing room; when you need wide-open space, you can appear remote and withholding. And when it comes to reciprocity, you’re rarely comfortable on the receiving end. Your giving nature attracts narcissistic people who crave the mirroring and validation you offer. In the meantime, you’re able to create a fantasy in which the relationship lives up to its potential—and you inhabit that fantasy as though it were real. You learn to subsist on a diet of mere “emotional breadcrumbs,” and can suffer from malnourishment.

Empath Rx:

To build your ability to receive care from others, try bodywork or yoga therapy with someone you trust. You can also balance a personal yoga practice with group classes to strengthen your sense of community. If your job requires any degree of public exposure, or you work as a healer, you may need stretches of alone time to reestablish your equilibrium. Here again, mindfulness-based practices can help you notice feelings of being devoured and interrupt the cycle of merger and isolation before you reach the breaking point.

5. Develop emotional immunity.

Empaths pick up on other’s emotions and even their direct inner experience so rapidly that it’s hard to indentify what’s happened. As a result, a large part of your anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and immune issues can belong not to you, but to someone else. And just like your nervous system and physical body, your emotional body and immune system struggle with boundaries. They have difficulty discerning what’s you and what’s not. This leaves you vulnerable to emotional issues like anxiety, depression, and chronic stress, as well as auto-immune illnesses such as allergies, lupus, or fibromyalgia.

Empath Rx:

Practice interpersonal hygiene: using mindfulness, notice how you feel after spending time with others. You’ll soon learn which people are hazardous to your health, and you can limit your interactions with them. Also try lymph-stimulating asana sequences and Restorative Yoga to stimulate your capacity for constructive internal reflection.

THE EMPATH’S FILTER:

One of the more insidious consequences of Empath Syndrome is having a very thin, membranous emotional skin which reacts intensely to real or perceived invasion. This skin is allergic to a variety of foods, social settings, and other people—and on the inside, it mimics the auto-immune pattern of self-hatred. This exposes our nerve endings to all the shame, rage, and deep, existential grief inside us and in everyone around us. An offhand comment from a loved one, a request for help from someone when our resources are at a low ebb, or a harmless comment from that “weird guy” at the gym can get under our skin in microseconds. This sets off an alarm, and we immediately filter that person as either “dangerous” or “safe.” Long ago, that type of filtering was necessary for our survival but as we mature, it becomes less adaptive, even destructive. Because we doubt the strength of this filter (after all, it’s tough for us to set boundaries), we construct a narrative around the experience. Once we’ve developed a juicy story about the person who got under our skin, we repeat it. We pull for confirmation from others, as though having an army behind this filter will help it feel more like a fortress.

Having the armed forces behind us can feel comforting initially, but our actions only strengthen the sensitivity of the danger/safe filter. And since our narrative is rarely limited to one encounter, we practice it over time. Soon, it gains a brittle hardness. This outer shell protects us from injury (good), but also from intimacy with others and our deepest selves (not so good).

Often, the deepest (and hardest!) work happens long after the interaction is over, when our nervous system is back to balance and the temporary comfort our narrative gave us has dissipated. Our task is to go back to the filter, to our initial decision in the moment, and reevaluate. We can (this is so hard!) reconsider and re-examine the encounter from all angles, balancing the harsh light of hindsight with a healthy dose of self-compassion. We can even ask others for input—preferably those who don’t indulge our stories, and who want to see us grow.

Over time, we can acknowledge where our filters make errors or blind us. We can change their sensitivity settings to be more open. We can acknowledge where they make errors or may blind us. Then we’ve got something to grown on. The challenging part: Empaths have a really tough time changing this filter because it feels so necessary for safety. What’s more, adjusting the settings actually stretches our “emotional skin.” This expansion is uncomfortable: It can feel in some ways like a “little death” and it can jolt the nervous system into caffeinated overdrive. This is when the quieter aspects of yoga and mindfulness like Restorative Yoga can help promote constructive internal reflection, and help us assimilate the changes we’ve made to our filter. I’ve been in this place many times and experienced the struggle myself. And while our asana practice helps us be more embodied, this epic battle with our filter is carried out on the very plains of engagement where mindfulness and yoga try so hard to lead us.

IT’S LIKE A TATTOO:

Empaths often ask me, with great sincerity, “How do I get rid of this?” Their poignant request reflects the cost they pay, in time and effort, to achieve a measure of balance. But being an empath is like having a tattoo: the imprint is there for life, no matter what you may do to change it. These practices aren’t a time-limited, do-it-for-three-months-and-all-will-be-well kind of program. Rather, they’re a lifelong journey of self-discovery. But it needn’t be a life sentence. Having a daily empath-balancing practice improves our relationship with ourselves. It juices our creative process. It improves emotional regulation. It deepens our work life, and enhances our physical health.

Empaths need community, a tribe of our own to belong to, and a shared language through which we can first unload the burden of being built as we are. Yet once we’ve ingested this sense of belonging, our task is to resist the temptation to rest there forever, and cultivate instead both personal and shared practices that bolster our body, calm our mind, and help us ground into and explore ourselves. We do this first in shallow waters and then in time, the deep.

It may seem that transformation is about transcendence: that we somehow leave behind our flaws to achieve a measure of spiritual perfection. Yet true spiritual evolution and emotional health entail a reckoning with and even valuing of the unique set of challenges we’ve been given. Sometimes the holes in our evolution—the very things that we lack—plait a deep thread of awareness into the fabric of our self-study. We’ll spend the rest of our lives unraveling that thread, and weaving and reweaving it. And there’s a measure of honor that comes from having to work so hard at the skills that others seem to master so naturally.

And the reward for all this hard work of integration? There will come an extended moment in time when something or someone will activate your nervous system, stimulate your filter and the narrative that comes with it, and tie you in emotional knots. But this time, you’ll recognize it as it happens. You’ll be able to enter a dialogue. You’ll say to yourself something like, “Oh- here it is again—it’s happening! This person has bumped right up against my need to feel special,” or whatever it is they’ve activated. You’ll notice the signs of activation: elevated heart rate, difficulty breathing, intense emotional reactivity, and an immediate gravitational pull toward a difficult story. “They must not care about me at all,” you’ll start to think. Then suddenly, you’ll remember to feel where that activation is concentrated in your body: often, for empaths, it’s the upper core or solar plexus area. You’ll bring your hands to that area and breathe deeply into it for several minutes. And if it’s still highly engaged, you’ll opt to practice a little longer until you hit your “reset button.”

And all at once, you’ll feel the deep worth of daily empath practices. You’ll find a simultaneous sense of yielding and resilience. You’ll feel a beautiful solidity, as though you’ve colored in your outlines. You’ll discover a newfound sense of your own intrinsic value in the world. And this will be matched by the joy that comes bubbling up from the wellspring of your body.

Being an empath asks us to become fluent in the field of paradox, to metabolize opposing concepts and challenges. How can we engage in rich relationship with others and the world around us, for instance, while finding the silence and space to discover the self and world inside us? How do we find balance between matter and spirit, inner awareness and outer focus, or self and other? And how might we engage in the dynamic interchange between the concept of evolution—which hints at a future self—and the self we are right here, right now?

It may be later in life by the time we truly blossom, but the time, patience, and inner work are well worth the effort. When we learn to regulate our nervous system, create healthy boundaries in our body, and adjust the filter through which we evaluate direct experience, we become truly resilient. And instead of making ourselves small to fit the world around us, to find a tribe where we belong, we learn to blossom on our own. This blossoming draws others to us. And an empath in full flower is an extraordinary thing to witness: vulnerable yet resilient, intuitive yet grounded, and deeply creative, expressive, and magnetic—but with a fully functioning sense of where and how these qualities balance.

Dear Empaths, thank you for your deeply impassioned response to this article! Out of respect for the porousness of your fellow empaths, please balance your sharing of your story with discernment about how the quantity and nature of what you’re sharing. We reserve the right to edit posts, or to not post responses that might cause others to be overwhelmed when reading. However, we do read each and every post. We thank you for taking the time to comment. Please know that you have a Tribe of people to whom you belong. Not only that, there are ways (and this article mentions several) to balance your empath qualities and live a life of balance, boundaries, and meaning.

For specific tools, please reread the “Rx” sections above for ideas. You can also explore our book Yoga for Emotional Balance. And please stay tuned to the Online Courses link on this site; we’ll have a “Yoga for Empaths” course coming out later this year that’s a labor of love to all of you, our Empath Tribe. Peace and blessings,

http://boforbes.com/yoga-practice-lab/blog/feel-pain-empaths-guide-staying-balanced/

5 REASONS TO ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

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“I trust that everything happens for a reason, even if we are not wise enough to see it. When there is no struggle, there is no strength.” Oprah Winfrey

The well-known Greek Philosopher Aristotle, believed that everything happens for a reason, always. And that every experience in your life, was designed to shape you and reform you into the ultimate and greatest version, that could ever imagine yourself to be. The only thing that prevents this, is having the wisdom to see it.

1. In Times of Struggle

Every negative experience; every time of struggle, can then be viewed as an opportunity for tremendous growth. Alike to a caterpillar burrowing from its chrysalis. When all of its forming and changing is complete, its metamorphism has transformed it into a magnificent butterfly. It has shed its former skin, and flown on the wings of new life and a new way of being.

2. In Times of Healing

Some may find it hard to believe that everything happens for a reason, especially when experiencing grief or loss. At the time it may be very difficult to see the blessing in it, as all that is being felt is pain. But it is through our lowest points in life, where we gain the wisdom and allow for new-found strength to emerge. Without loss we wouldn’t appreciate  gain, without grief we wouldn’t appreciate love. Without death, we wouldn’t appreciate life and without fear, we wouldn’t appreciate love.

3. In Times of Happiness

By far, the most victorious of all happen stances, when it all comes together in one moment, the AHA moment, as the metaphorical photo finally develops. When we reach the point, after all of the struggles, the self-substantiating realization beams through and we finally see the wisdom behind the subconscious choices we’ve made. Clarity shines through like the morning sun peeking out on the earths horizon.

4. In Times of Chaos

True chaos, cannot be chaos for as long as there is choice involved. Things may appear to be random, but as we all know appearances lie.

 “To someone who can’t read, letters on a page appear to be randomly chose when in reality they are precisely ordered.”- Deepak Chopra

Meaningful coincidences and synchronicities may also be viewed as random events with no connection, yet to the eye of the beholder, those events would have a real purpose and meaning.

5. In Times of Reflection

We see the pieces of the puzzle begin to come together, each unfolding a beautiful picture. The pain, the turmoil, the struggles and the victories, each essential building blocks to the molding of who we are today in this present moment.

An unfinished product, always growing, learning and experiencing. And by reflection we see, why it had to happen the way it did.

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life”- Steve Jobs

http://thespiritscience.net/2015/10/17/5-reasons-to-always-believe-that-everything-happens-for-a-reason/

FOR THE WOMEN WHO WOULD NEVER CALL THEMSELVES -Wild Woman -Warrior or “Goddess

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Wildness lurks in all of us, though we don’t all choose to flaunt it so obviously.

We do not need to appear passionate, intense or ferocious to be interesting—like an iceberg sitting in calm waters, our passions, intensity and ferocity can be hidden out of view, shared only with our inner circle. Even the deer that moves gracefully through the woods is as captivating, it its own way, as the fierce lioness.

They are equally wild, but express themselves differently.

I watch my cat, who is technically a “tame” creature, not entitled to the classification of “wild” because she lives interdependently among humans. Oh, but I know that, for all her tameness, the wildness is there in equal measure—it’s just that she rarely feels the need to unleash it (thank God!).

And despite my own calm demeanor, which causes some people to underestimate my strength, I too may unleash my ferocity—suddenly and without warning—should I perceive that someone has crossed an unacceptable boundary, or simply triggered a fear.

And I know that I am not alone. Some of us may move more quietly through the world, but we need to know (and trust) that we are capable of being fierce and wild, should the need arise.

We are not all drawn to the esoteric or the mystic.

But within us all lies a God(dess) force—for we are all connected to divine source, containing both masculine and feminine energy. It is not a special power granted to a special bunch of people.

It is a universal power, or energy, available to us all.

Some of us are more consciously attuned to that inner force than others. And some of us simply do not want to tune into it. Perhaps we were persecuted for the overt expression of our godliness in a previous life. Or maybe we are young souls who are not yet ready to delve into our power. But it is there—whether we recognize it, or identify with the label. It is there for us, if we do want it.

We are all Goddess.

And we are warriors too, for we have survived this long and this far.

We are still here—that is no mean feat. We have done battle with our demons—both inner and outer—and lived to tell the tale (or keep it quiet).

Some of us wear our warrior badges with pride and others keep them hidden in a drawer. But we don’t have to wear them loudly to carry their essence about us. We are strong. Stronger than we sometimes acknowledge or believe. But we are. If we weren’t, we would not still be here.

So, no matter how you choose to express yourself in this world, know that you are strong and powerful. And, when needs be, you can be a fearsome force to be reckoned with.

Each of us is extraordinary in our own way. We are neither the labels we identify with, nor those we reject. But we do carry within us the qualities that all labels—“good” and “bad,” the ones we like and those we dislike—seek to encapsulate.

But beyond the labels and their associated qualities, we are essence of the Divine, expressing ourselves in differing ways.

“Wild Woman,” “Warrior” and “Goddess” are primeval, achetyepal energies that we all have the capacity to tap into when we feel the need. So, although we may not choose to express them as aspects of our personality, at our core, we are all Wild Women, Warriors and Goddesses.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/10/for-the-women-who-would-never-call-themselves-wild-woman-warrior-or-goddess/

5 WAYS TO HAVE A RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING LIFE- Richelle Morgan

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I used to dream, wish and hope for an amazing life—not just an okay life, but a ridiculously amazing life.

When I was younger, that dream had me rolling in style, of course, with fabulous clothes, a big house and a fast car.

As I grew older and wiser, the material wants and needs of my dreams changed—I simply wanted to be inspired and excited to get out of bed.

But that wasn’t happening…I was living within a shell of myself.

Sleep, wake, crawl out of bed, work, eat, sleep and repeat. And repeat. And repeat again. Snooze alert.

I found myself caught in a vortex of boredom with my dreams of a different life on hold. I was stuck. Not unhappy, just stuck, like a pot of overcooked pasta, heavy, uninspired and pasty.

That heaviness was not only settling on my ass, it was finding its way into my heart. And, all I wanted to do was sleep. And eat. And then sleep some more.

The problem was that this wasn’t the first time I experienced this; it was not a new story I was creating where I could put the blame on all the supporting characters. This was my own fault; I had built a decently successful business, had wonderful clients, friends, family and all that fun stuff. I was living in suburbia heaven with a nice car, good home and it was killing me.

Slowly and surely, I was dying inside.

I had worked myself into exhaustion and the stress I put on myself to succeed gifted me with a lovely autoimmune disorder—which was ironic, considering my business was teaching others how to create healthy lifestyles.

I was unmotivated, uninspired and unfulfilled; a walking, talking empty shell. Like a pretty puppet, I moved, acted, responded, but if you had taken the time to knock on my shell, you would have heard a resounding echoing emptiness inside.

So what did I do?

I woke up, took a hard look at my life and told myself to snap out of it. I made the decision to step back into my life, to take the bull by the horns and take charge of myself. No more excuses. No more blame.

It was time to start living from the heart…and it was then that my life started to become a bit more amazing.

It was then that I started to become a bit more amazing.

And, yes, it was that simple. The decision, that is.

I realized that the only way out of my spiraling vortex of un-fulfillment was through me. In order to create the life I dreamed of, I had to be the one to change. I couldn’t blame anyone for my choices, my dissatisfaction or my growing ass. I had to turn the mirror around and face myself.

And at first I peeked, not wanting to face myself. But, as time went on and I did the work needed, that mirror started to shine and reflect a happier me. And now, I can proudly say that I have fully and completely stepped into my life. And I try to do at least one thing to make my life ridiculously amazing each and every day.

Five ways to step into your life and make it ridiculously amazing:

1. Move.

As in, move, breathe and sweat.

You can’t be ridiculously amazing burrowing a hole into your couch or glued to your computer screen. (I know this because I tried. Massive fail! And what makes matters worse, that decently successful business I ran was a fitness business. How sad is that? I was inspiring others to move but couldn’t get myself on board!)

You have to get up and get your ass moving! Get the blood flowing, muscles fired up and the energy levels inspired. And the million excuses you have will come up, shelf them. If you can walk to the fridge, you can move.

I’m not asking you to hop off the couch and run a marathon, go for a walk, dance, do yoga, something. Just move. While you’re at it, move on to number two.

2. Check in and take notice.

One thing that is consistent is that life is continuously changing—and it will pass you by in the blink of an eye if you don’t take notice of it.

Start by checking in and paying attention to the little things that happen on a daily basis. I take the same route everyday to teach and each time I notice something different; it didn’t used to be that way. I used to drive mindlessly to client’s homes or to appointments and find myself 10 km down the highway with no recollection of what just passed me by. I had created a cozy vacuum of numbness that had me periodically checking out of life.

Now, I pay attention. I check in and stay present. Even when I’m doing something I do everyday, it’s become a mini adventure. I’ve noticed that anything can and will happen, but it’s up to me to take notice. So open your eyes, ears and mind. Rediscover your senses.

When you pause and actually notice the little things, what you see might surprise you.

3. Love.

Sweet, juicy, love.

Get the love juice flowing for your friends, family, partner and pets. Basically, anyone or thing that shares your space. Try to sweeten the pot with some unconditional love. Pets, easy. People; maybe not so much so try to practice first and foremost on yourself. Drown yourself in a giant pot of love juice. Be kind and nourishing to yourself in deliciously healthy ways because when we start to treat ourselves as though we are worthy, we set amazing things in motion.

After all, we can’t tap into love if we don’t love ourselves first.

4. Play.

Remember that four letter word?

If you don’t, seek out a niece, nephew, your child or a friend’s child. Watch, listen and learn. Life has enough serious moments without us purposely adding to the mix.

It’s okay to let loose and let your inner child come out and play once in a while. Be silly, dance, sing and laugh a lot. Don’t let anyone dampen your silliness. I did that and it wasn’t fun.

Now I play, a lot, everyday, with my crazy dogs, in the beautiful sea, on my yoga mat and with my boyfriend. They nourish my quirky side and allow me to be me. Which makes me smile a lot.

As a bonus, they’re helping me develop gorgeous laugh lines… much prettier than the frown lines I was working on before.

5. Leap outside your comfort zone.

Don’t think. Get like Nike and just do it! Leap, jump or dive into something that takes you outside your comfort zone, something that scares you a little or a lot.

I did this when I first arrived in Tulum. Shy, deathly afraid of house parties, I became a bit of a hermit back home. Once my shell started to crack open, I forced myself to do things that took me way outside my comfort zone.

The end result was I became more social, less afraid to attend parties or events solo. And it was so extraordinarily freeing, terrifying at times, but once the sweat stopped pouring, I noticed that I was not alone. And no matter what the outcome, I embraced every experience as an opportunity to spread my wings and grow.

Amazing things happen when we open the door to life and let our senses explore. When you step outside your comfort zone and try new things, visit new places, create new adventures, you give back to yourself ten fold. Embrace what comes up when you take a chance on life.

The good with the bad because it will help you grow as a friend, lover, mother or father.

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Take charge of your life.

If you’re unsatisfied, do something—your life won’t change unless you create the change.

So get things moving, go dance in the rain, kiss your partner deeply, try a new taste, take the road less travelled, open your eyes and drink in the sights.

There’s beauty to be found in simplicity.

Make the choice to step up to the bat and hit a ridiculously amazing home run in this fabulously messy thing we call life.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/05/5-ways-to-have-a-ridiculously-amazing-life-richelle-morgan/

HEALTHY SEXUALITY WITH AYURVEDA

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HOW can a couple enhance their sexual relationship by following Vasthu Sastra?

This is a question frequently asked by many readers who want to know how can they use the ancient knowledge to improve their bond.

Vasthu Sastra (science of dwelling), Kamasutra (art of sensuous love) and Ayurveda (science of life) are inter-connected and any couple observing all the three sciences can achieve total wellness. It is vital for readers to understand how these sciences work to ensure a happy union. In Vasthu, a couple who has sex in the south-west location of their house will enjoy the satisfactory pleasures and the chances of them being blessed with a healthy child is greater. Kamasutra, which incorporates yoga positions, is as old as the 5,000-year-old science of Vasthu. It highlights the marriage of the spiritual and the sensual, which stems from the Indian belief that the body is as sacred as the spirit. In Sanskrit, Kamasutra means sensuous love or an emotional feeling of attachment. When a couple is exploring Kamasutra poses, it should be performed after sunset in the correct location of a house to enjoy the desired result. 


To achieve the ultimate satisfaction, a couple is encouraged to follow the tips provided by Ayurveda.

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In Ayurveda, individuals who wish to enjoy the pleasures of the world should sleep on their left side, because this promotes the functioning of the right nostril, obstructing free flow through the left. The right nostril heats and activates the body, and increases an individual’s interest in food, sleep and sex.

This assists the individual to better externalize their personality to enable them to enjoy sensuousness. Sleeping on back allows both nostrils to function together, which discourages body, mind, and spirit integration and indirectly promotes disease by encouraging energy to leave the body. Sleeping on the stomach promotes diseases directly by obstructing deep and healthy breathing. It is best to sleep with the crown of your head facing east and your feet to the west. This promotes meditative sleep.

Sleeping with your head to the north draws energy out of the body,disturbing mind, body and spirit integration. If your head is to the south, energy is drawn into your body, improving your health. In short, sleeping on the left side is most relaxing, on the right most digestive, on your back, disturbing to the Vata (air) and sleeping and on your stomach is, disturbing to all of the above.

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Healthy sex

In Ayurveda, individuals who do not regulate their sexual impulses are more prone to loss of strength, a weak immune function and various diseases owing to the depletion of vitality.

According to ayurvedic expert Dr CD Siby from the Ayur Centre in Petaling Jaya, those who regulate their sexual energy will have increased memory, power, intelligence, health and longevity.

According to the ancient science, unsatisfied sexual urge is the cause of many diseases. Sexual frustration creates anger and this imbalances the female sex organ, blood flow and affects her menstruation. Menstrual disturbances heighten a women’s emotional aggravation.

It is difficult for such a woman to become pregnant, and should she become pregnant, her misery will be transferred to the child in her womb by the toxins circulating in her impure blood.

Any baby growing in such an environment will grow up unsatisfied and angry because emotions are the foundation of a child’s constitution. The foundation of sexual stress is often loss of Ojas, which is caused by over sexual indulgence. (Ojas is the purest expression of metabolism and the end product of correct digestion and assimilation of food).

Many modern couples fail to take time to enjoy sex and seek only self-gratification instead of mutual satisfaction. Masturbation is the culmination of this tendency, the apex of self-indulgence and an unwarranted waste of energy.

Repetitious unsatisfying sex is certain to cause disease. Individuals lose the willingness to surrender themselves to each other in sexual union when they feel vulnerable because of weak identities. Lack of Ojas, especially due to frequent obsessive sex, weakens the aura, and whenever anyone gets too close, subliminal alarm bells begin to go off.

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Sexual satisfaction

Sexual satisfaction occurs between two partners, not between two genital organs. It does not happen immediately but grows and develops over time. The first step in improving an individual’s sexual experience is to resist temptation to hop from bed to bed to seek improved pleasure. An individual must stick to one partner.

Vata (air) people are tempted by variety more than the other types. They should satisfy this craving for variation with new techniques and positions, not with new partners.

Pitta (fire) people also have roving eyes, but their principle urge is for intensity of experience and not variation. They have to be careful not to completely dominate a weaker partner, to permit their craving for intensity to mesmerize them into perversion.

Kapha (water) people are less likely to roam, and since sex is a good vigorous exercise for them, they can be encouraged to do it more often.

http://www.hiddenmysteries.org/spirit/ecstacy/happyinbed.shtml

Find Happiness By Giving Up These 15 Things

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Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

“Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”
Wayne Dyer 

What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.”
Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.”
Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.”
Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”
Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.”
Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.