Category Archives: accomplishments

A Home That Sparks Joy- Marie Kondo

Leelee-Sobieski

Lesson #1: Tackle Categories, Not Rooms


I’d always tackled clutter by room—take on the office first, the bedroom next. Instead, Kondo’s first rule is to tidy by category—deal with every single one of your books at once, for example, otherwise they’ll continue to creep from room to room, and you’ll never rein in the clutter. She advises beginning with clothing, since it’s the least emotionally loaded of one’s things (books come next, old photographs are much later), so as soon as I found a free afternoon, that’s exactly what I did.

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Getting nostalgic over old letters or distracted by sweet toddlers might be a temporary high, but it won’t get you anywhere fast.

Lesson #2: Respect Your Belongings


With my eyes now open, I realized my closets had hit rock bottom. Everything had succumbed to a mixed-up messiness. Kondo asks that you consider your clothing’s feelings: Are they happy being squashed in a corner shelf or crowded onto hangers? Are your hardworking socks really thrilled to be balled up? It had sounded out there when I read it, but suddenly my clothes looked totally miserable.

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Kondo warns that you shouldn’t show your family the discard bags, since they’ll want to stop you from getting rid of so much. Case in point: Henry tried to nab an old hat

 

Lesson #3: Nostalgia Is Not Your Friend


As I started emptying the closets, I opened boxes filled with letters and old photographs. Serious mistake. Kondo knows what she’s talking about when she insists you put blinders on and focus only on the category of stuff at hand. Read one old letter, and suddenly you’re down a rabbit hole of nostalgia.

To be honest, I was probably procrastinating. In theory, I was sold on the idea of living exclusively with clothing that gives me joy, but I still had hang-ups: What will I be left with? Will I have anything to wear to work? Will I have to sacrifice beloved things, all for the sake of decluttering?

Then my 18-month-old son, Henry, wandered in, and there’s nothing he loves more than recluttering. The afternoon was basically lost. If you do this, don’t waste time like I did (and maybe book a babysitter for this project).

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While she doesn’t go for the classic storage pieces, Kondo loves a good shoebox (or any pretty box you have tucked away) for its all-purpose organizing power.

Lesson #4: Purging Feels SO Good


From then on, I followed Kondo’s advice to a T. I gathered every piece of my clothing and put it in one giant pile. While I normally tidy my clothes only when I’m on a long phone call—distracted from the task at hand—today I wasn’t even supposed to listen to music. Channeling Kondo, who says a prayer upon entering a client’s home, I lit a candle, said a little prayer, and started digging through the mountain of clothes.

Once I got to work, it was so much easier and more fun than I’d thought. This question of joy gives you permission to let go of off-color shirts bought on sale, dresses past their prime, skirts that always clung uncomfortably. I realized I had many things that seemed great in theory but weren’t actually my style—they’d be better on someone else’s body or in someone else’s life (examples: an überpreppy skirt or a corporate-looking jacket).

Six hours later, I’d filled 12 bags with non-joy-giving clothes. Instead of panic, I felt relief—12 times lighter. It also felt like good karma: The best stuff went to a consignment shop, and the decent stuff went to a charity thrift store, off to see a new, hopefully better life.

 

Lesson #5: Fold, Don’t Hang


Once you’ve sorted out the things to discard—and only then—you can decide where the remaining things should go. Rather than folded in a cubby or hanging in a closet, Kondo thinks a lot of our clothing would be better off (or as she’d say, happier) folded in a dresser.

I hadn’t been using a dresser at all before, but now, having begun with four overflowing closets, I was down to enough clothing to fill one closet and one dresser. Pulling from the tops, pants, and scarves now destined for the dresser, I started folding using Kondo’s special technique.

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Here’s the basic KonMari vertical fold, which can be applied to everything from T-shirts to stockings. First, make a long rectangle, and then fold from the bottom up into a little package.

Lesson #6: THE Fold!


Kondo’s vertical folding technique makes everything easy to spot and hard to mess up (you aren’t jostling a whole pile every time you take something out or put something back). Folded this way, clothing looks like fabric origami, ready to line your drawers in neat rows.

To keep these little folded packages standing at attention in the dresser, Kondo suggests using shoeboxes as drawer dividers. A smaller box is perfect for square scarves, a deep one can go on a bottom drawer for sweaters.

The dresser install, using a few shoeboxes. I even folded some of my husband’s striped shirts (on the left), just to inspire him to try this in his own drawers.

one_kings_lane_catescloset_folded shirts drawer

Lesson #7: Fall in Love with Your Closet


This is why people become evangelical about the KonMari method. Once you’ve cleared away the clutter and put things away, your dresses and skirts—the fun stuff, let’s be honest—can see the light of day. There’s breathing room between pieces, so you no longer have to do that awkward arm wrestle with the racks. All of which means you get a hit of joy—even hope!—just opening your closet, whether you’re getting ready in the morning or planning a party ensemble.

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Kondo advises hanging clothes so that the line along the bottom slopes upward—it adds an optimistic zing.

Lesson #8: Rediscover Your Style


For years, I’ve worn the same rotation of easy-to-grab, reliable pieces without dipping into all the color in my closets. And there’s a lot of it—maybe because I grew up near the ocean, I have a weakness for turquoise and pink and love a color mash-up and summertime prints. I’d almost forgotten about these colors in the daily race to get out the door.

 

https://www.onekingslane.com/live-love-home/marie-kondo-book-declutter/

10 Essential Qualities of a Real Man Worth Dating

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I was recently wondering what I wanted in a relationship? This article really shed light on my own personal needs as a woman. This article relates to men and women in my perspective. Each human being wants to be treated with integrity and respect, no matter what gender they are.

In my recent relationship, it was very difficult to be praised or acknowledged for my work, my passions and my success. Nothing was ever said when I achieved something. In my heart, whether it’s a friend, a parent or a romantic relationship. It’s always such a gift and an honour to share accomplishments, life is not always easy and accomplishments do not fall from the sky.

When someone I love and care about shares some of their life’s victories and down falls on their own personal journey. A great deal of feeling and heartfelt emotions come up; from feeling humbled that the other has shared with me some of their most intimate moments on their journey. Knowing they have crossed onto the other side as a stronger and wiser person and have achieved the confidence and the courage to walk on their path, no matter how many personal fears they needed to confront. Being the hero in their own life!!

Being proud of the other is an emotion that comes from the heart and it is a good feeling. We are the other and the other is us. Let’s celebrate together! Isn’t this love?

No matter where I am in any relationship, I take great care and pride in celebrating accomplishments and dreams. It’s empathy towards the other to share your love and your support towards the relationship because it’s saying ” Hey, I know it took work, I know it took time, I know it to strength and you persevered. I am so proud of you! “.

Celebrating and praising the journey and the outcome are important and meaningful when you are in a healthy relationship. 

Thank-you

Love love love

Melika Emira Baccouche

10 Essential Qualities of a Real Man Worth Dating

1. A real man is responsive to your needs.
Real men don’t merely care about how you fit into their world; instead, they care about your individual needs. If your partner gets upset just because your needs interrupt his day or cause a minor inconvenience, then you should find someone less selfish to share your life with.

2. A real man would never project his faults onto you.
Real men don’t automatically assume a relationship’s problems are caused by you; instead, they take an honest look in the mirror before speaking up, because it can be easy to project your own problems onto another person. If your partner always points the finger at you instead of working together with you as a team, then he isn’t worthy of your companionship.

3. A real man is willing to take action without hesitation.
Real men don’t seek approval for every thing they do; instead, they are confident enough to take action without hesitation. While your partner should consult you about major life decisions that you deserve to have a say in, he shouldn’t be so hesitant that he seeks your permission for every single thing he does. If your partner is unable to exercise anything resembling independent thought, then he will become so clingy that you’ll want to scream.

4. A real man is passionate about something besides his relationship.
Real men don’t consider their relationship to be their one and only interest; instead, they have passions that don’t involve you. If your partner pitches a fit any time you make plans that don’t involve him, then you could be dating a person who is severely lacking in ambition.

5. A real man isn’t suspicious or paranoid without cause.
Real men don’t accuse you of cheating without cause; instead, they only speak up if they have a concrete reason for having a suspicion, and even then they do so in a way that doesn’t involve wild accusations. If your partner gets paranoid just because you happen to have male co-workers or friends (crazy idea since that is approximately half of the population), or if he is so suspicious that he snoops your texts and Internet use behind your back, then you might be dating Mr. Wrong.

6. A real man can stay calm and cool during a confrontation.
Real men don’t resort to insults, judgement or violence during a confrontation; instead, they are willing to talk through the issue without devolving to personal attacks. If your partner explodes in anger at the slightest provocation, then please tread cautiously for your own safety.

7. A real man cares about his appearance.
Real men don’t “let themselves go” just because they are married or in a sustainable relationship; instead, they continue to take care of their body. Physical appearance isn’t the most important thing in the world, but there is no denying that sexual attraction is a necessary ingredient of any healthy relationship. If your partner can’t be bothered to exercise or practice basic grooming habits, then expect your intimacy to die a slow and painful death.

8. A real man doesn’t add insult to injury.
Real men don’t proclaim “I told you so!” after winning an argument; instead, they let the issue go as if it didn’t even happen. If your partner makes you feel like a bad person just because you were wrong, then you might be dating a man who isn’t emotionally intelligent.

9. A real man is happy to bask in the present moment with the love of his life.
Real men aren’t so consumed by their work that they can’t be bothered to spend uninterrupted time with you; instead, they are happy to turn off their phone so they can focus on enjoying the present moment with a partner they know they are lucky to have. If your partner can’t turn away from his work, even for a moment, to express how much he loves and appreciates you… then he isn’t going to be capable of providing you with the romance and attention you deserve.

10. A real man isn’t concerned with fitting into societal stereotypes.
Real men aren’t spineless conformists; instead, they exercise independent thought to make their own decisions, with no concern for what “society” or “the guys” have to say about it. If your partner is always consumed by what is the “manly” thing to do, then you might be dating a man who isn’t capable of thinking for himself.

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-essential-qualities-real-man-worth-dating.html