I woke up this morning, got dressed and out the door. Cafe and provisions was my mission!
Walking to the convenience store I meet this wonderful soul for the 2nd time named Mike. Mike does not fit into what we all like to call normal. His intellectual functioning is measured below average by standard test. But Mike can not be measured by any standard test because there is nothing standard about him. He shared a great gift with me this morning, he was fully present, in full acceptance of my being and he had a will and a kindness beyond anything I`ve ever experienced. His eyes pierced through my soul and we saw and recognized each other has humans.
I felt my heart open and crack, sadness and gratitude started pouring out. I asked myself why was Ì so sad and so touched by his kindness and his presence?
It stirred up so much emotion in me but why?
Mike had no agenda, he was kind to everyone simply for the purpose of being kind because this is who he was as a person. For the past 2 years I`ve felt like life passed me through a blender. I had endured so much negativity, lies, deception, cruelty and a great deal on psychological level. I never cried and mostly got up, kept my head high and continued to do the best I could do everyday. Not searching to understand why me? Because why not me? We all have tough month, days or even years but it was always a conscious decision for me to not take things to personally and keep everything moving until the sun would be shinning again. The sun always rises after a dark night.
Going inside to buy milk, I spoke with the other clerk and I was obviously shaken up emotionally. I spoke about my experience past and present with Mike and how it touched my heart to another level of depth.
He shrugged and made it seem it was because Mike was so simple. I answered without thinking; It is not so simple to be simple!
I left him with those words un-sounded by his words.
It takes authenticity, transparency, vulnerability to be and give this amount of present to another human being.When you achieve this spiritual level the kindness, your heart radiates so much love to others. That to me is choice and there is always great power in choice.
Something else hit me about Mike, he himself like all of us had been wronged in not being honored for who he was, not being accepted and human cruelty that seems so free in periods of our lives mostly when everything is NOT on the right track.
I was so inspired by the fact that he did not repeat behaviors of hate, none trusting and closing up on life and in return to himself and others. On the contrary he shinned his light because the world needed more of this. The world is full of suffering enough that violence, psychological violence will not be resolved with more violence.
Leaving I put my arm on his shoulder and I thanked him for shinning his light. And he simply replied by saying thank-you so much Miss and YOU take care of yourself.
I was bawling on the inside. It is the beginning of letting go period for me, this was my realization this morning, the storm had passed and could relax. My efforts were all starting to manifest finally and I could feel safe enough to let go.
Forgiveness and changing the world with kindness certainly is a great inspiration. Letting my armor down is not easy but I am in a process.
With his pur heart of kindness, he shinned his light into the cracks of my heart that were not healed and this was a moment of awareness for me. A deep awakening moment.
I am no longer naïve but I will not allow the negative experiences take my innocence. This was a beautiful lesson and I am full of gratitude for Mike and his wisdom. I will continue to practice love everyday and I will continue to evolve and to blossom with all the good and all the bad.
Mélika Emira Baccouche