Ahimsa: The art of none-violence towards all living beings! Intention is powerful!
Leaving Montreal for a smaller town named Sutton. I needed to get out of the city after being with an addict for a year. I needed to leave the hospital’s, the addiction clinics, the pharmacy’s and all the judgment you receive when you are an addict. Addiction to me is simply an unbalance and sadly medication takes you on a ride further and further from your true self. When the intention was to retrieve your life and your true self to begin with. I could not watch him suffer on top of more suffering and suffering.
The sad thing was, prescription medication does not fall from the sky. When those who prescribe do not want to take responsibility for their decisions as a professional, it fucking sucks! Complete your circle, you are dealing with a human being and a life.
I did not want Jason to be judged, he had gone thru enough pain in his life, including self-inflicted pain. When you are suffering from old wounds or new wounds that have never been honoured. Some people start self-medicating. He had developed chronic pain and was prescribed all these medications by doctors and even pain specialist. The pain specialist was clear about the fact that with methadone, is nervous system was “mooch” as she said it herself, from what I understood, Jello
When your nervous system is mooch, pain can simply be present because of a nervous system disorder. The more you take, the more you need and the more your brain and your body tells you that this is what makes you feel better. Seeing the one I loved become thin, sicker and sicker with all these medication. I did not judge and I did not try to intervene because it was his process and his life. I respected what he needed to go thru and realize on his own. Being abandoned by his family and friends, I just wanted to guide him to a better place. Detox was the only option because every step I decided to walk with him, I knew that I was powerless over him and his decisions.
When we are in pain on a daily basis, the only thing you desire is to find your old self. The happy self that you were. Without the experience you can’t even understand the future impact on your body, your mind and your soul. Sometime’s medication is a band aid solution, specially for chronic pain patients. The more you take, the more you need and the more your inner void feels empty.
My personal feeling on addiction is that as you keep self-medicating, the bigger your inner void becomes. The real issues are ignored. You feel numb, your inner drive leaves you, you get so many after effects on your body that you end up needing your own little pharmacy.
Doctors are in the top percentage of drug addicts and when you check surveys, they would not prescribe most of the things they permit themselves to prescribe to patients, to their family and friends. If you know your drugs, you know that pharmaceutical drugs are the best. They are pure and you can’t find this quality of drugs on the streets.
The thing that makes me the most sad is that most patients are in full trust when it comes to their relationship with their doctor, psychiatrist, anyone with a P.H.D.. If a psychologist tells you that you are depressed after a 5 minute questionnaire. You might start feeling depressed because of the trust and the belief that you put into your health care practitioner. Placebo effects are strong, belief is strong, the mind is connected to the body and much of our beliefs will sink slowly into our body. With emotion’s and thoughts being inter-connected , when we feel something it is hormones receiving a message from your nervous system. We are an organic machines to doctors but we are so much more than that as individuals.
We forget that health practitioner’s are human and they are flawed as well. The error is human right? Most of these people are over worked. When you are out of balance, how can you help someone find their own inner balance and health? When anyone and everyone is tired and has a lack of sleep. We all get into an automatic mode and we might not be fully aware of the impact we can have on someone’s health when we are a burned out. This includes what we say, what we do and how we proceed in our action’s. This is normal and it is human but this is where I wonder, if are medical system is so sick and flowed, how can we truly help patients in their suffering without any band-aid solutions?
In Ayurveda, when you prescribe a client anything, you must test it properly on yourself first, to empathize fully with the effects and the dosage for each individual client. Money was not given to any Ayurvedic doctor in the past because money corrupts. Health and money do not go well together because it has a strong effect on the intention towards healing. The simple intention must be seeing the person as a person just like us and we have become numbers in the medical system.
We are so much much more then that and to me, we are spiritual beings living a human life, being human is a gift, spirituality and the interconnectedness is a gift and having a physical healthy body is a gift!
My love finding love in pain:
Author: Melika Emira Baccouche