I was deeply in love with someone who didn’t love themselves!
Everyone deserves support and I chose to be there for someone who was deeply wounded internally and self-medicated because of past hurts and issues that were never acknowledge by his family or himself. I will never regret this experience and I will show you here and there in mini video’s that no matter how bad the situation was. I always followed my heart and it lead me to where I wanted to be.
People always say that if you are with an addict, you must have self-esteem issues. In Ayurveda we are taught to see the higher self, the inner god and goddess in everyone no matter what the unbalance is.
Jason was on methadone, alcohol, 10 to 20 gravols a day, depending on the day and a bunch of weed. He was the highest guy I knew. Medicated like a level 4 cancer patient, I asked him 2 questions.
When did your life start declining? The answer was: When I started taking methadone. This was prescribed to him in detox. He had started taking oxycodone after an assault incident by doctors in the hospital. We are all human and I think no one enjoy’s pain but the easy answer usually always lead me to a place even stranger and further then where I was before.
If you prescribe medication to an addict, they will never say no.
Jason went to the hospital for having a pancreatic attack and he stopped drinking cold turkey. The hospital then decided to prescribe him Fentanyl.
The second question I asked Jason was: What do you want from life and yourself? He answered by saying, he wanted to be clean and live a clean life.
We embarked on the path of awaiting a bed for him in detox. Which 7 months later was still not available.
The system is fucked because when someone is ready, specially someone so sick and so hurt by life. When they open their arms, help should always be there when needed. But sadly we do not live in a world like this.
Exploring the more conventional side of medicine, being a passionate student of Ayurveda. It opened my eyes to many to so many sad realities of our society. I do believe in science but I don’t believe in treating patients like they are numbers or like all body’s functions in the same exact way. I don’t believe in analyzing simply one organ but the inter-connectedness of the entire body.
They never had a precise diagnosis, had no trouble prescribing all this medication but when he wanted out. The same support was not there. He had chronic pain, surely coming from inner pain and medication on top of medication.
The real issues were never honored and he deserved to be recognized for who he is like everyone else in this world. I knew how to separate the addict from the person when he spoke and I constantly practiced detachment, knowing that nothing in life is forever! I want to thank Jason for teaching me so many beautiful things. I still see the beauty in him and I will always love him in my own unique way for the unique person that he is. Being around sickness my compassion grew, my heart grew and my self-love grew!
Take all very good care of your hearts, your body’s and your mind!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE!! And love more!!